Happy Spring Equinox!

DSCF4371_edited
After a long and challinging winter we can now step in to the spring sunshine and celebrate six glorious months where the days are longer than the nights!
The Skittle Cat, Lord of all he Surveys, bid you a Very Happy Spring Equinox!DSCF4381_edited
We took a little stroll around the garden this morning and this is what we noted;

DSCF4375_edited
Last year’s apples have almost completely rotted away; instead of serving as a blackbird smorgasbord, the ground is now hosting lungworth, primroses and daffodils to provide nectar for bees and butterflies.
DSCF4380_edited
So many wild primroses!
DSCF4386_edited
This is a Victoria plum singing its song.
DSCF3054_edited

The fig is busy unfurling its leaves; there are already new little fig nodules nestling close to the branch.
May we all enjoy a glorious new turn of the wheel because here comes the sun!

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Ceramics and Shamanism

DSCF3656 (2)_edited

Ceramic Shrines for mythological Gods appx 45 cm x 25cm

When I first started to make Shamanic journeys, I would often appear before my Spirits dressed as Snow White in her full Disney regalia; a pretty blue top with a yellow skirt and a red cape. A couple of winsome blue birds would flutter about my person like budgie sized midges.
I remember one particular journey where I saw myself sweeping the floors of the Dwarves cottage, singing sad little songs as I went along and sighing a lot. Pluto was pulling at my dress, trying to tempt me to come outside to play. But I continued to dutifully sweep the floors.
As I raised my head and clutched my hands in order to reach the final high note of a particularly pretty and sad little song, I turned around and I caught a glimpse of what I looked like from behind. I got an awful shock; the Evil Fairy Goodmother was staring back at me. She was laughing her evil laugh and showing me her crooked yellow teeth and the big wart on her nose. While one side of me was the beautiful Snow White, the other side was an Evil Witch wishing to kill me.
I felt shocked and insulted by the very suggestion that I should be the cause of my own misery, but as I continued to visit this scenario in my journeys, I learned more and more about how I was creating my own reality.

I was taught by Jonathan Horwitz, the man who introduced me to the basic techniques of Shamanic journeying,  to meet each day by greeting the four directions as well as the Earth and the Sky. For the longest while I did this without feeling anything in particular except sometimes I would feel a connection with the elements and sometimes I would feel gratitude.
But after a while I sensed that there was something else lurking in my room, something that was not acknowledged by me, something other, something uninvited. It felt like a dark secret and it was bothering me; I spent a lot of time in the company of the Thirteenth Fairy without actually recognising her.
I began to get pointers in her direction and as an experiment I would invite her into my morning ritual and I would thank her for her blessings. I would also deliberately invite her to join me in various projects. I would ask her to show me what she wanted from me. And when she obliged, I could but observe my life slowly disintegrating before me.
I became more or less bedridden with a bad back for 6 months and that caused huge money worries as I make my living from my ceramic sculptures and I wasn’t able to lift anything heavy. Some days I couldn’t even get out of bed. I was all alone, and I had no family to fall back on.
I felt incredibly alone and frightened for the future, but during this time I began to actually see and connect with the Thirteenth Faery in my dreams and in my journeys.

DSCF3506_edited

Sculpture of the Thirteenth Fairy in the shape of Crow 25 x 18 cm

In time I got to know her well enough to sense her presence even before disaster struck; I would recognize her in that sudden dread when you just know that a well laid plan will go to pot and that you most certainly will not get to the ball.
The Thirteenth Fairy will get you with illusions of love; she will get you with sudden illness. You will hear her cackling laughter during those cold, starlit nights when you sit alone on the beach or lie in your bed wondering what life is all about. When you scream at the sea, and rage at the wind; THIS IS NOT FAIR!!
And just when you think that it cannot possibly get any worse, it invariably does get worse, a lot worse.
And at this stage I throw my hands in the air and give up.
The Thirteenth Fairy will teach you about what lies behind ordinary reality.
She will take you to the Hall of Mirrors at the Fairground and sit you down in the middle of the room. She will point to the mirrors and ask which of the many images are truly you? The fat, circular one? The one where you seem to resemble a cork screw? The one with the two heads?  Or perhaps that one over there, the very tall, skinny one?
And, like the good earnest student that you truly are, you attempt to find the answer. You dig deep, then deeper. You try your very best to figure out how to connect with the essence of each image. Who am I! Which one?
You may start by politely, perhaps even self-consciously, rub at the surface. Then maybe you dare to scratch it a little with your finger nail.
In the end, out of desperation, you are taking a chisel! a hammer! a wrecking ball! to the glass. But the surface is too solid and too hard, and you end up hurting yourself.
You may try the sneaky approach and attempt to fit yourself into the narrow space behind the mirrors and the wall so that you can see if perhaps you can find yourself hiding in there. Is there someone in here? Anyone?
Then you think that perhaps the mirror is hungry or thirsty; you bring it little offerings of sweets, incense and flowers. You sing a little song to lift its spirits.
Nothing.
It is cold in the room. You crawl back to the middle, and you look again at all the mirrors that surround you. The floor beneath you is solid concrete and yet, eventually, you fall asleep.

And when you wake up the next morning, you do the same thing all over again.

You need to find the truth; you desperately need to make sense of your surroundings and of yourself.  And you shout out to fate, to Kali, to the night; Look at my hands, they’re bleeding! Look at my bed; it is a solid concrete floor! Surely I deserve an answer! Am I not your good, obedient student? Have I not suffered enough!  What more do you want from me!
And this is when you begin to suspect that perhaps all the challenges heaped before you are but illusions and that your responses are merely you being conventional and reacting according to what you have been taught and what you fear rather than according to what is true to you.
As the Thirteenth Fairy forced me to look deeper and deeper into what is essentially a trick question; as she relentlessly heaped disaster upon disaster on my life, she forced me to begin to wake up to my own true self. And I don’t think the journey is over by any means, but during this bleak time I’ve started to recognise that I often chose to honour my own fears and that I often act out of duty rather than conviction and pleasure when dealing with a difficult situation.
So I decided to stop being scared about my future. Instead of worrying about the mortgage, I put my house on the market
And then I made a shrine for her.

DSCF3631_edited

Shrine to the Thirteenth Fairy 40 cm x 24 cm (with closed doors)

The Thirteenth Fairy is aligned with tricksters such as Coyote and Loki and with the Goddess Kali/Parvati. She is herself neither good nor bad but she will act according to the laws of your story and the necessity of events. Her role is to thrust our story forward and keep the drama moving.

In Sleeping Beauty, we learn what happens when we don’t acknowledge and honour the uninvited, the shadow, the dark.
You may recall how the story goes; at the christening of a long-wished-for little princess, only twelve of the thirteen fairies in the land were invited to be her godmothers. As the feast came to an end, the fairies bestowed their magic gifts upon the baby. Suddenly the thirteenth Fairy entered the palace full of fury and eager to avenge her snub.  She told the court that “because you did not invite me, I tell you that in her fifteenth year, your daughter will prick herself with a spindle and fall over dead. This is my gift, this is my prophesy’’.
A good fairy mitigates the curse so that the princess will only fall into a deep sleep at fifteen and the king attempts to protect her by removing all spindles in the land.

The Thirteenth Faery enters the story in order to allow for the Hero or Heroine to rise to the occasion and bring about the ‘Happy Ever After’.  It is pure chance that she is the one not to receive an invitation to the christening; the King only owned 12 gold plates so he could only extend the invitation to twelve guests. Gold is the mineral connected to the Sun, the masculine. I do wonder if the Thirteenth fairy is connected to the 13 cycles of the Moon, the darkness and the feminine. The uninvited and the neglected child wreaking her revenge, thus throwing the unseen and the taboo into the spotlight.
The Thirteenth Fairy steps up to the breach because without her there would be no story.

I have written a shorter version of my adventures with the Thirteenth Faery before, but this is a copy of a longer version that recently appeared in The Sacred Hoop.

http://www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do trees communicate with each other?

Fabulous documentary where professor Suzanne Simard from the University of British Columbia explains how trees communicate using fungi. This actually helps them survive. It is a very short video, so I will let you discover her findings for yourself.

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Ceramic Sculpture – sold

I love weddings; especially I love it when people come and buy their wedding gifts from my studio!

Fat Birds seem to be popular,  and I seem to be running out.
DSCF0037_edited

This couple found a new home this weekend; I am not sure if I’ll be making any more. It is funny how you, as an artist, tend to look for expansion; for new adventures.  But at the same time, you are defined by the products and concepts you made in the past; storylines that people still associate with you.
I love my Fat Birds, and I used to feel as snug and as safe as one of them. But the last time I tried to make a Fat Bird sculpture, a few months back, I ended up having to pour myself a very stiff whiskey,  (and in the middle of the afternoon!)  in order to calm down enough to walk back in to the studio and scrape the remaining clay off the wall.
I am not singing the songs of contentment any more. It is difficult to go on creating old favourites, not the least because the dream I had when I first started to make the Fat Birds is so different from the song I am currently singing.

Perhaps there will come a day when I actually feel good again. Until then, there will be some very odd stuff coming out of my studio.
www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Sculptures celebrating water

Collection High Res 005_edited

‘Water water see the water flow
Glancing dancing see the water flow
O wizard of changes water water water
Dark or silvery mother of life
Water water holy mystery heavens daughter

O, wizard of changes, teach me the lesson of flowing’

poem by Robin Williamson

The ceramic bowls are between 12cm and 22 cm in diameter.

DSCF4101_edited

This ceramic sculpture of a water sprite or naiad is 53 cm tall and 39 cm wide and it is made to hang from a wall. The torso is first glazed and then smoke fired. I love how the smoke inter act with the glazes to make them more flowing and glowing..

DSCF0148_edited

This ceramic sculpture shows the sea of life from where Gaia selects the seeds of creation. I chose to use the old fertility symbol of a bulls head  and turned the skull and the horns into Gaia’s face and hands.
The sculpture measures 30cm by 30 cm. It is glazed except for the very blue bit inside her hands which is melted glass.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

…the day the ceiling finally caved in

It’s funny, but when it finally happens, it’s kind of a relief

DSCF4344_edited

Many days like this; listening to the rain inside my living room.

DSCF4345_edited

..leading to a ceiling looking like that. The dark plug-like blobs are actually fungi. I wonder if they are edible.

DSCF4348_edited

…and then finally, this. Lots of soggy plaster, wood and insulation on the floor. And fungi, edible or not.

DSCF4347_edited

It looks a lot neater now that the hole has been squared up. There’s nothing like a bit of symmetry to cheer you up.

Did I mention that we have had a lot of rain in Hastings?

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

Star light

I have wallowed beneath grey clouds for the longest while. I have developed a thirst for a certain type of light.
It is the cold silvery light of stars that I crave. Illuminated crystals.

DSCF0866_edited

Or Ice, when the sun shines through.
I took these photos a few winters back when the Ice was cannibalizing my Hot House Geraniums.
DSCF0863_edited

I have developed a single minded hunger for that cold, white light.

I sit by my window at night. And I look out for the stars.
The clouds, coloured orange by Hastings sodium street lights, gaze back at me with bovine incomprehension.

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

Corruption

These days I find it hard to function. The constant rain, darkness and cold is affecting me to the extent where I find myself standing by my windows for hours, staring out towards where the sea usually can be seen, clutching a hot water bottle.
Or lying on the sofa in front of the fire, listening to the drip drop of water pouring through my ceiling.
The work I produce is abysmal.

DSCF4226_edited

I feel as though my core has turned to mush and all I can do is wait.
Wait, and trust that new life will grow though the many layers of darkness and corruption.

As within, so without.
As above, so below.

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Cathedral of my Heart

I have been very angry and upset of late; my valley in the Old Town of Hastings has lost a lot of trees during the last few months, the police is harassing poor people who steal food from skips, David Cameron is bribing local Councils to allow fracking despite local opposition.
And on top of all of this it is constantly raining and I am cold.

So I have been seeking to regain my balance a bit and this poem came to me during a period of trying to understand more about my own rage. I thought I’d share it.

‘She took me to the roaring Sea
and She said;
Show the Sea your fury,
Force the waves to calm down!
So I raged and I cried
I stamped my feet in anger!
In response the shingle hissed
and the waves roared on

Then She took me to the Mountain
and She said;
Will the blizzards to stop
Show the ice your opposition!
And I wept and I cried;
I shook my fists in fury!
The snowstorm raged
and turned my tears to ice

She brought me to the Fire
and I saw the meadows burn
I saw the trees and deer engulfed in flames
And I screamed; Enough!
Tell me what you want!

So She brought me to the vast
and empty
Cathedral of my Heart
And She lit a candle
And I felt Peace.’

The poem can probably be improved on. That’s it, back to the studio!
www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Raucous behavior in shacks through the times…

this funny Kenneth Williams look alike lead singer from B-52 is rocking the shack in the late 80′s

and here is Nick Cave, Jarvis Cocker and various others doing the same in the 2010′s

I’m so glad times move on

This is a lazy post as I should perhaps had supplied lots more material; perhaps you can help?

What is your favourites ? The weirder the better; but it’s gotta be rocking, that’s the rule…

I am looking forwards to your suggestions.

www.annakeiller.com

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment